Grading the Summer
Is it just me or did this summer go way to fast? I think they went slower when I was in school.
Before it’s completely gone I wanted to do my best to slow it down so we could take a closer look at it. I give you my summer grades – let me know if you agree with them! In no particular order, and including May as part of summer:
Work stoppages: F
From the NFL to the NBA and even congress, rich people thought the cool thing to do was stop working. Meanwhile, you and I are still plugging away. Is there any way we can include major sports under Senate Bill 5?
Summer music: C
This is it’s own blog but I have to mention music. We all need our summer soundtrack right? This would be a little lower if it wasn’t for Lady Gaga’s Born This Way and Jay-Z/Kanye’s Watch the Throne. For me, there are only a few songs that stick out this summer but the ones I think I’ll remember the most are Lady Gaga’s Edge of Glory, LMFAO Party Rock Anthem, Pitbull’s Give Me Everything (he took his life from negative to positive) and Selena Gomez’s Perfect....what are you looking at? I have a five year old daughter. I listen to a lot of Radio Disney. What do you expect?
Speaking of summer soundtracks, what’s the best summer song ever? For me I think it’s tied to my high school years which would include Fresh Prince’s Summertime and Montell Jordan’s This is How We Do It.
Bravo really brought it this summer. Real Housewives of New Jersey has been awesome. Their Summer of Bravo spots are well done – and include another great summer song, Brittney Spear’s I Wanna Go. And Andy Cohen inked a deal to write his memoirs. How about this guy? He’s really developed into Bravo’s version of Seacrest. He is the genius behind the Real Housewives series and is rumored to be the choice to replace Regis.
Summer TV: B
Beyond Bravo, which was good enough to warrant its own mention, summer TV has been hit and miss. AMC’s The Killing started in the spring but concluded in the time period we’re discussing so sorry summer, it counts against you. Breaking Bad has returned and is doing its best to redeem the damage done. We also had Falling Skies, TNT's take on alien invasion. Noah Wyle (Mason), Will Patton (Weaver) and Colin Cunningham (Pope) have made this watchable but it’s limping into season two.
We had Shark Week and Mob Week duking it out at the start of August as well as the return of Bachelor Pad. We also had what seems like a dozen or so ‘hillbilly swamp’ shows which aside from giving The Soup plenty of material serve no real purpose.
But next to Breaking Bad, my favorite show this summer has been The Challenge, on MTV. And really it’s because CT is back.
This cool, calm, collected CT is actually a little scarier than crazy CT. It’s kind of like he’s learned to think and now everyone’s in trouble. I’ve mentioned this to my wife a few times but next to the entire Manzo family is there a reality TV person who deserves their own show more than CT? I think they should make him a life coach for lame reality show stars and he can yell at them until they get their life right. The season premiere would be with Gary from Teen Mom. We can call it ‘TLC, CT Style’.
Fire pits: A
I have seen so many facebook posts, tweets, in-store specials, etc. about fire bowls/pits this year. Seriously, how weird is this? Nearly the whole country is in the middle of a record heat wave and all we can think about is lighting our fire bowl. Remember that scene from ‘She’s Having a Baby’ where Kevin Bacon looks around at everyone mowing their grass at the same time and realizes he’s in suburbia hell? I have that experience every Friday and Saturday night when, around 9 p.m., everyone in my neighborhood lights their fire bowls. Myself included.
The stock market: F
I mentioned earlier I watch The Challenge. The stock market reminds me of Jen and Adam. Jen is the stock market, Adam is us.
At the start of the show Jen and Adam flirted, building a nice, fun relationship. Nothing great, nothing bad. Then, Jen finally gives into Adam, who is in love with her, and sleeps with him – but not ‘sleeps’ with him, just shares his (bunk) bed. Adam is happy – the market is up a little bit.
But then disaster strikes – Jen tells her friends that she’s just toying with him and would need to be ‘sooooo drunk’ to even kiss him – the market plummets 600 points. But then, we see Jen hanging out with Adam more, even starting to kiss him – when she’s sober – and the market rebounds. Now we’re all kind of in this holding pattern because she admits that she actually is starting to like him. Why do I watch this show again?
Political pre-season: F
The Straw Poll. Michelle Bachman, Rick Perry, the possible return of McCain, Sarah Palin, low approval ratings for the president...and we’re not even into political commercial mode yet. Is there any way the Mayans can look at the calendar again and see if they can move the end of the world date up?
What do you think? Did I miss anything?
8/18/2011 8:11:21 AM Comment on Grading the Summer